he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize