I didn't shave. On purpose
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
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Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
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After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I have peed in a lot of sinks
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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