Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
