i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I'm passing your future prison.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Randomize
