I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
