i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
