Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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