Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
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