Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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