Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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