If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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