giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
