I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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