The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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