lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
