roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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