I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
