your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
