i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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