I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
