Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
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Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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