Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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