I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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