he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
