So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
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She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
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I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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