Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize