Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
