Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
