i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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