I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
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Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
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If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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