She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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