Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
The convent might be a nice break from real life
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
