Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
