you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
