I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Randomize
