he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
