Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
This is my gift to your gina
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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