Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
