and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Randomize