I want to stick my p in your. b.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
