I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I intend to get homeless drunk
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
