I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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