After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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