If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
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