awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize