do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Randomize
