im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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