just come out here and I will go home with you...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
