apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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