do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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