I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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