there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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