only if we run a train.
done.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
