We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I have feelings that need drinking.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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