nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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