If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize