Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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