whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
i now understand why vodka
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Oh god it's open bar.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
