you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
How external is "for external use only"?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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